Jupiter Disco — A Girl's Guide to Drinking Alone

1237 Flushing Ave between Harrison Pl and St. Nicholas Ave, Bushwick

The Place: A space-themed bar and nightclub - so like, a LITERAL Jupiter Disco. I don’t think I’ve ever been somewhere before where the name says all you need to know about a place.

The Time: Sunday March 27, 7pm. I’m seeing a friend’s show at the Sultan Room nearby so I decided to grab a cocktail beforehand. Somehow I spilled mascara on my shirt right before leaving the house so idk if I’m ready to be going out in public on my own again, but here we are. Thirty, flirty and thriving, baby.

The Vibe: The outside is completely unmarked save for a neon square. I’ve officially reached the age where going into a dingy, mysterious place is not exciting but dread-inducing, like I’m walking into an episode of Law & Order SVU. Blissfully I open the right door and step into the small bar. It’s divey, dark and dare I say - a disco on Jupiter? Kind of. It’d probably feel that way if people were here. There’s a couple to my right, another duo to my left. Neon accent lights are everywhere, and there are plenty of kitschy decorations including a vintage Sony TV with changing swirly images. The music is, of course, disco. There’s a gray marble bar, barstools with backs (yay!) and room to dance, underneath a comically tiny disco ball. A compact DJ booth is toward the back; it probably gets bumpin’ in here on weekends. It’s stupid dark so I can’t read or write and now I’m glad I didn’t bother changing my shirt ‘cause no one can even see the black dot above my boob anyway. Everyone looks better in the dark, that’s why god invented dimmers.

The Bartender: A chill guy with plenty of tats, wearing a baseball cap and a graphic t-shirt. He answers the questions that the couple asks and is unobtrusive and efficient. At one point he leans against the lowboy and sighs. I feel that.

The Drank: For the nightclubby energy this bar has, they have a surprisingly impressive bottle selection and cocktail menu. The drinks seem to be listed in order of light and refreshing to spirit-forward and full-flavored. But the menu is on TV screens around the bar; it appears then disappears like the fucking Matrix and like, I’m a professional drinker and I can’t retain all these weird names in my head or remember what ingredient goes with which drink, are you insane. So I look up the menu on my phone. I pick a cocktail on the lighter side of the spectrum, the Europa Report, with bourbon, two kinds of rum, banana liqueur, lemon, orgeat and bitters. It’s tasty and has some different flavors going on but mellows out into an easy sipper. The garnish is non-functional (meaning it doesn’t add anything to the drink) and not very cute so it does nothing for me but I’m always a sucker for a good barbershop straw. The menu told me this cocktail would be served up but no, it’s long over crushed ice. Sure, whatever. Spring break, no rules.

Was I Hit On?: No. The bartender probably would’ve engaged in conversation with me had I started one, but I was content to just sit and chill. There’s something about fun disco music playing in an empty bar that makes me kind of melancholy. It’s the same feeling I’d have if I was sitting alone at a hotel bar and there was a wedding going on that I wasn’t invited to.

Should You Drink Here Alone?: I don’t think so. Not because it was bad, but it’s not what Jupiter Disco is made for. This is a party spot, meant for party people. Maybe come here with a friend and try some more cocktails, right in that sweet spot of the night just as the doors open but the venue is still empty, so you can sit and drink and watch the place fill up. Then dance the night away.